Best Days of My Life

Finally monsoon season has started. It's raining here. I am enjoying my last week in Mumbai. I don't know why! but always I feel rain gives me power. No matter how worst might be my life as soon as I see rain, I forget everything. It always gives me strength and feeling that life is beautiful.

Government say that during summer 6 hours power cut will be there in all the villages. Don't imagine that there will be no power cut during rainy season. Because for people of Thirthalli it is understood that there will be no power and no phone during rainy season. Once in a week and fortnight you get electricity and even phone also.

After completion of my 12th there was a long vacation before joining engineering. As usual I went to Kadidal. Ajja, Ajji and me - only three of us. When I was in Kadidal there was no TV, no electricity, no phone and it was rainig 24 hours. Those were the best days of my life. I was having so many books. Ajji was with me. All my cousins and appa also used to ask me, "Don't you get bored!". I used to sit in front of house and watch that rain, those misty mountains and forest. Ajji also asked me once, what is there in those mountains and forest. I don't know!

Sometimes even when surrounded by friends, family I feel bored which never happens when I am alone.

Dangerous Thing

Yesterday I was chatting with Seetha. We were remembering our past years. The way we used to roam in Shimoga.

I am in Bombay from almost 2 years. Now I am bored with this city. In Shimoga there is only one straight road which has been partitioned into Durgi gudi, Nehru road and Gandhi bazar. Shopping means only these three options. But I never felt bored with that city.

We(Me and Seetha) were doing a lots of shopping. But every time when spending money so carelessly we used to feel that guilt. Feeling that we are doing some wrong thing.

Then suddenly our discussion took philosophical turning. We all do certain things which we know are wrong. If someday someone tells us that you are doing a big mistake then how we will react?

Here we come across two ways. First category of people accept that it is wrong. They may try to correct themselves. They may even fail in that :)

Second category of people tell "I am like this. I do because I get pleasure in this. It's my life after all".

You may feel that taking first path is the job of coward people. And second category people are very straightforward and bold people.

According to me, taking first path is the most difficult thing. It comes with simplicity. Second path is the way of coward people who are not true to themselves. Who doesn't have the guts to say "yes I was wrong". They fear that if they accept the truth people will laugh at them. Still somewhere in the deep heart they know they are wrong.

Most dangerous thing according to me is when we keep on making mistakes saying "I am like this".

Story Time

Today let me tell this story which ones my ajji told me.

There was one god, who came to earth just to see it's beauty. He saw sea, mountains, rivers, deserts,falls.......... Then he saw her! One beautiful girl taking water from river. She was not as beautiful as Apsaras of heaven. But he loved her from very first sight.

He asked her to marry him. She tried to convince him that she is very small compared to him. There can't be a match between god and human. But he insisted.

They married and lived happily. After few years he observed wrinkles on her face. She said "See, I am human. I am becoming old". He said "Oh! you are looking so beautiful. I love you so much". She became old and his love for her increased each year.

One day she became sick and said "My time to leave this world has come". He held her tightly. But rules are rules. Her soul left her body and for the first time that god cursed himself for being immortal.

What is the use of life where love is not there? Love will make your life very beautiful. It's loss can make life a miserable journey.

WHO IS WRONG?

I read this somewhere....................
"The nobler the man the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others"

We spend 90 percent of our life in talking about others about how wrong they are. But this statement made me check myself. If I am noble, I am all correct then my heart will be so pure that I will never find wrong in others. I am talking bad about someone means I myself am having impure heart.

Most of the time we try our level best to prove others are bad just because we somewhere feel inferior to them. By proving them wrong we satisfy our ego. Once again I read this somewhere,

"Speaking ill of others is a cheap, dishonest way to praise ourselves"

Let's see

Have you come across this situation?
Whole world want you to act as they want. But you feel "Let's see. I will not do this. Let whatever happen"

I read about this character 'Saraswathi', from the novel "Dharmarayana Samsara" by Shivaram Karanth. She has been married to a person who is very cruel. For him favorite game is killing any animal. If he doesn't find any animal for killing, he will set fire to his dog and enjoy the scene.

Saraswathi never accepts him. Every day he will come with a new woman to his house. Saraswathi never asks him "why? " People think she is having high level of patience. Few men even try to give her example to their wives.

But actual thing is, Saraswathi reaches the state "Let's see!" from the very first day of her marriage. Anyway she can't get out of this marriage(No education). so she decides to stay there and all she want is to see her husband having a very horrible death.

When her husband comes with any other woman she feels happy because as long as that woman is with him he will not come to her. He will stay away from her.

But destiny has some other plan. Nagappa comes to her house as manager. Nagappa's father was a very rich man. But Saraswathi's father cheats him and he dies because of that. Nagappa try to hate Saraswathi for being the daughter of that cheat but unknowingly he will be attracted towards her. It takes no time to find out that she is living in hell. He try to become happy for that but he couldn't.

Unknowingly they fall in love and Saraswathi's stone heart starts to melt. Finally when her husband dies a very horrible death(One of his servant kills him when he misbehaves with that servants wife) she realizes that love of Nagappa has changed her so much that instead of feeling happy for her husbands death, she is feeling sympathy for that pain which he went through.

Love makes us human. It is the only feeling which is capable of heeling all the pain of this world...................

Sarasoti and Mahadevi

Today I am discussing about these two women 'Sarasoti' and 'Mahadevi' from once again my favorite Shivaram Karanth's novel 'Nambidavara Naka Naraka'

Story starts with Mahadevi's marriage with a rich person. Mahadevi belongs to a very poor brahmin family. After her marriage she realises that her husband has cheated her by telling that he is a brahmin. One side she thinks that she has been pushed to hell. But at the same time she can't go against her husband. First she tries to adjust herself.

Once Mahadevi and her husband go to Gokarna. On the way their car gives some problem. So they decide to stay in a nearby brahmin's house where Mahadevi meets Sarasoti.

Sarasoti lives there with her mother-in-law and brother-in-laws. She has been married to this house years back. Her husband works in a faraway place and he never feel it necessary to take Sarasoti with him. She is just a time pass for him when he comes to home yearly once. Strangely, Sarasoti's husband comes to home the same day when Mahadevi and her husband comes to her house.

That will be the last meeting of Mahadevi and Sarasoti. Mahadevi's husband first feel that he has won a battle by marrying a brahmin girl. But day by day he feels it so difficult to face Mahadevi. He literally feel scared in front of her. Mahadevi in turn tries to find her peace of mind by worshiping goddess 'Mookaambika'. People treat her as if she is having some strange power. They treat her with respect but are scared to talk to her.

After 9 months of Sarasoti and Mahadevi's meet Sarasoti gives birth to a child which has all the features of Mahadevi's husband(Blue eyes and 6 fingers in one hand). Sarasoti's mother-in-law sends her out of her house. Sarasoti goes to her parents. (Reason: Sarasoti's husband and Mahadevi's husband belong to same family, which has been parted long back during their grandfather's time)

Quite opposite to Mahadevi, Sarasoti completely stops believing god. She doesn't even name her son. Everyone calls him with different name. She will be treated well in her parents house. Her parents, brother and his wife Padma takes good care of her. Sarasoti helps them in their work. She never accuses god with words. But people observe that she has completely stopped prayers.

Padma's brother comes to visit his sister. Two days after he leaves that house people find Sarasoti and her son are missing. After few weeks they get a letter posted from Poona by Sarasoti informing that she is getting married to Padma's brother.

When Mahadevi realizes that her end time has come she sends one of her friend to search for her sisters. By that time her sisters were married to a nice family. She asks them whether she is allowed to spend her last time in their house. They bring her to their house with full respect. When she enters their house, she says "I am so happy. I can die with peace now. I have people who can perform proper rituals to me after my death"

Who is right?
Mahadevi spent her whole life praying to goddess to forgive her as her cast has been spoiled. Did she spent her whole life in the fear that when she die no one is there to perform proper rituals to her?

Or is it, Sarasoti! who thinks life is important more than cast, society and god.


I don't know................................

Laila and Mariam- The Thousand Splendid Suns

Today let me discuss about these wonderful women called Laila and Mariam, from 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini.
Mariam, was married to Rasheed who was of the age 38, while she was just 16. Even tough in the beginning days he shows some affection towards her, after series of miscarriages he treats her like animal.

Laila was a kid Mariam has seen in her neighborhood when Mariam was newly married to Rasheed. But after 22 years life takes a turn when Rasheed at the age of 60 marries Laila.

Mariam was illegal child of a rich person Jalil. She was born and brought up for 15 years in a small hut above hill cut out from rest of the world. Her mother constantly scaring her not to go down, as people may throw stone on her saying 'Harami'. At her 15 birthday for the first time she goes down to see her father and that day her mother commits suicide. Her father to get rid of Mariam marries her off to Rasheed.

Laila's father is very well educated person. He gives good education to Laila. She looses her brothers in war. With mother not feeling well she is the only person left in her father's life. Unlike Mariam, Laila lives very peaceful childhood where Tariq was her best friend. As years pass by love blossoms between Tariq and Laila. As Afganistan faces war after war Tariq's parents decide to leave their country. Tariq begs Laila to marry him. But Laila can't leave her dad alone. On that last day Laila and Tariq sleep together.

After 15 days Laila looses her parents in a bomb blast and luckily she will be saved by Rasheed. Rasheed has seen Laila and Tariq. He will be knowing that they both like each other. So he pays one of his friend to inform Laila that Tariq is dead. By that time Laila will be pregnant and she accepts Rasheed's marriage proposal without any other way out.

Before Mariam's mother's death her father Jalil visits her every Thursday and Mariam spends whole week to prepare for that one day. She loves Jalil like anything. After her mother's death she understand the real face of Jalil. She never speaks to him after her mother's death till the date of her marriage. After her marriage she asks him never to meet her in future.

Relationship between Mariam and Laila will be bad in the beginning, but as time passes they become very close. Mariam treats Laila like her own daughter.

Laila becomes mother of two kids. First girl Aziza(Tariq's daughter) was treated badly by Rasheed as she is a girl. Taliban rule starts. Rasheed looses job. He forces Laila to leave Aziza in a orphanage. Every day Laila goes to orphanage. It is not so easy in Taliban rule. Women are not allowed to go alone. If she is caught, officers will beat her there itself. But it becomes like a goal in Laila's life. If is caught somewhere she will stop until they beat her. Next she will find some other way to orphanage. All this to spend few hours with her daughter.

One day Tariq comes back.........................(I felt so happy when I was reading this part)

Story ends with Mariam killing Rasheed and forcing Laila and Tariq to go to some other country with children. Mariam will be executed in public.

Scarlet

Who is perfect woman?
According to Indian mentality woman should be patient, she should never ask any question, always think about others blblabla. In most of the Indian novels you find main female character sacrificing for others, always thinking about others welfare. Somehow they all forget that god has sent her in this world to live. She also can think, she also has some desires.

Then I read "Gone with the wind". You may laugh, but once I finished this book I felt "how can one write a book on negative characters!". I hated Scarlet. Because she was so different from my explanation of good woman. For me that time a story means, there are good people and there are bad people. At the end bad will die or they will be punished. And good people will live happily ever after. Fairy tale :)

I know I know, Rhett Butler leaves her at the end. But one villain leaving another was not a punishment for me. I was expecting something like she will loose every penny, she will become beggar and leaves rest of her life cursing herself for being so bad.

But this book was so different. After two-three days once again I started to read this book from beginning. This time also when I reached end I was in same confusion, "What this Margaret Mitchel is trying to prove?".

Today my views have completely changed. Why? Now I know life. There is no perfectness in this world. Yes she was a lady with very high ambition, very self oriented, can do anything for money. But I think I hated her more than what she deserved because she was a woman with these characters. I completely ignored some good qualities she was having.

Even tough she hates Melanie she takes care of her. Not only Melanie, Scarlet takes care of whole family and her land Tara during the days of war. Then she marries her sister's love for the sake of money so that she can get her Tara back. I know it's a big mistake. But just imagine the feel of insecurity that might have haunted her during the days of war when no one comes to her rescue. If marrying a girl for dowry is not bad then marrying a man for money sake is also not bad.

So many times Scarlet tells Ashley that she loves him. Even after Ashley marries Melanie! Every time he replies as if he likes Scarlet but due to circumstances he can't marry her. Poor Scarlet! lives her life believing a big lie that Ashly loves her. She realize the truth after the death of Melanie. But it was too late.

Rhett leaves her. As long as Melanie was there Scarlet hates her for being Ashley's wife. But once she comes to know that Ashly doesn't love her, she realizes that she has lost a man who loves her for the sake of this person who never loved her. Only Tara remains in her life.

I can never agree with Scarlet's viewpoint of life. But at the same time I don't no why! but I does not even hate her.

Winter and spring

I love festivals. During my childhood I used to celebrate every festival in Kadidal. With Ajji :). It is not that I believe all superstitious things. I just love that occasion where every family member will be present. Decorating pooja room, doing pooja with everyone, nice dishes, happiness. To me festival means all these things. But last year I found a new definition of festivals.

During my first year here (In IIT,Bombay) as rooms in hostel were very less they arranged few flats for girls. I was living in one flat. We four girls were there. Me, Carol, Soumya and Saroj. Last years winter of Mumbai was horrible. It was very cold. Inside IIT it is like forest and temperature is even less compared to other parts of Mumbai. We were literally fed up with that cold.

Then during third week of January one morning we were going for breakfast. Soumya said "look at the wind and sunlight. Saraswathi pooja is coming near and in few days holy will come". In our Karnataka we do Saraswathi pooja during Navarathri(Dasara). But Bengali's do it during January. This is the time when winter will slow down and gives way for spring. I was completely dumbstruck by her definition of festival. To me festival means a day that has been marked in calendar. But she don't need calendar. For her festival is something which is very close to nature.