Today I am discussing about these two women 'Sarasoti' and 'Mahadevi' from once again my favorite Shivaram Karanth's novel 'Nambidavara Naka Naraka'
Story starts with Mahadevi's marriage with a rich person. Mahadevi belongs to a very poor brahmin family. After her marriage she realises that her husband has cheated her by telling that he is a brahmin. One side she thinks that she has been pushed to hell. But at the same time she can't go against her husband. First she tries to adjust herself.
Once Mahadevi and her husband go to Gokarna. On the way their car gives some problem. So they decide to stay in a nearby brahmin's house where Mahadevi meets Sarasoti.
Sarasoti lives there with her mother-in-law and brother-in-laws. She has been married to this house years back. Her husband works in a faraway place and he never feel it necessary to take Sarasoti with him. She is just a time pass for him when he comes to home yearly once. Strangely, Sarasoti's husband comes to home the same day when Mahadevi and her husband comes to her house.
That will be the last meeting of Mahadevi and Sarasoti. Mahadevi's husband first feel that he has won a battle by marrying a brahmin girl. But day by day he feels it so difficult to face Mahadevi. He literally feel scared in front of her. Mahadevi in turn tries to find her peace of mind by worshiping goddess 'Mookaambika'. People treat her as if she is having some strange power. They treat her with respect but are scared to talk to her.
After 9 months of Sarasoti and Mahadevi's meet Sarasoti gives birth to a child which has all the features of Mahadevi's husband(Blue eyes and 6 fingers in one hand). Sarasoti's mother-in-law sends her out of her house. Sarasoti goes to her parents. (Reason: Sarasoti's husband and Mahadevi's husband belong to same family, which has been parted long back during their grandfather's time)
Quite opposite to Mahadevi, Sarasoti completely stops believing god. She doesn't even name her son. Everyone calls him with different name. She will be treated well in her parents house. Her parents, brother and his wife Padma takes good care of her. Sarasoti helps them in their work. She never accuses god with words. But people observe that she has completely stopped prayers.
Padma's brother comes to visit his sister. Two days after he leaves that house people find Sarasoti and her son are missing. After few weeks they get a letter posted from Poona by Sarasoti informing that she is getting married to Padma's brother.
When Mahadevi realizes that her end time has come she sends one of her friend to search for her sisters. By that time her sisters were married to a nice family. She asks them whether she is allowed to spend her last time in their house. They bring her to their house with full respect. When she enters their house, she says "I am so happy. I can die with peace now. I have people who can perform proper rituals to me after my death"
Who is right?
Mahadevi spent her whole life praying to goddess to forgive her as her cast has been spoiled. Did she spent her whole life in the fear that when she die no one is there to perform proper rituals to her?
Or is it, Sarasoti! who thinks life is important more than cast, society and god.
I don't know................................
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Laila and Mariam- The Thousand Splendid Suns
Today let me discuss about these wonderful women called Laila and Mariam, from 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini.
Mariam, was married to Rasheed who was of the age 38, while she was just 16. Even tough in the beginning days he shows some affection towards her, after series of miscarriages he treats her like animal.
Laila was a kid Mariam has seen in her neighborhood when Mariam was newly married to Rasheed. But after 22 years life takes a turn when Rasheed at the age of 60 marries Laila.
Mariam was illegal child of a rich person Jalil. She was born and brought up for 15 years in a small hut above hill cut out from rest of the world. Her mother constantly scaring her not to go down, as people may throw stone on her saying 'Harami'. At her 15 birthday for the first time she goes down to see her father and that day her mother commits suicide. Her father to get rid of Mariam marries her off to Rasheed.
Laila's father is very well educated person. He gives good education to Laila. She looses her brothers in war. With mother not feeling well she is the only person left in her father's life. Unlike Mariam, Laila lives very peaceful childhood where Tariq was her best friend. As years pass by love blossoms between Tariq and Laila. As Afganistan faces war after war Tariq's parents decide to leave their country. Tariq begs Laila to marry him. But Laila can't leave her dad alone. On that last day Laila and Tariq sleep together.
After 15 days Laila looses her parents in a bomb blast and luckily she will be saved by Rasheed. Rasheed has seen Laila and Tariq. He will be knowing that they both like each other. So he pays one of his friend to inform Laila that Tariq is dead. By that time Laila will be pregnant and she accepts Rasheed's marriage proposal without any other way out.
Before Mariam's mother's death her father Jalil visits her every Thursday and Mariam spends whole week to prepare for that one day. She loves Jalil like anything. After her mother's death she understand the real face of Jalil. She never speaks to him after her mother's death till the date of her marriage. After her marriage she asks him never to meet her in future.
Relationship between Mariam and Laila will be bad in the beginning, but as time passes they become very close. Mariam treats Laila like her own daughter.
Laila becomes mother of two kids. First girl Aziza(Tariq's daughter) was treated badly by Rasheed as she is a girl. Taliban rule starts. Rasheed looses job. He forces Laila to leave Aziza in a orphanage. Every day Laila goes to orphanage. It is not so easy in Taliban rule. Women are not allowed to go alone. If she is caught, officers will beat her there itself. But it becomes like a goal in Laila's life. If is caught somewhere she will stop until they beat her. Next she will find some other way to orphanage. All this to spend few hours with her daughter.
One day Tariq comes back.........................(I felt so happy when I was reading this part)
Story ends with Mariam killing Rasheed and forcing Laila and Tariq to go to some other country with children. Mariam will be executed in public.
Mariam, was married to Rasheed who was of the age 38, while she was just 16. Even tough in the beginning days he shows some affection towards her, after series of miscarriages he treats her like animal.
Laila was a kid Mariam has seen in her neighborhood when Mariam was newly married to Rasheed. But after 22 years life takes a turn when Rasheed at the age of 60 marries Laila.
Mariam was illegal child of a rich person Jalil. She was born and brought up for 15 years in a small hut above hill cut out from rest of the world. Her mother constantly scaring her not to go down, as people may throw stone on her saying 'Harami'. At her 15 birthday for the first time she goes down to see her father and that day her mother commits suicide. Her father to get rid of Mariam marries her off to Rasheed.
Laila's father is very well educated person. He gives good education to Laila. She looses her brothers in war. With mother not feeling well she is the only person left in her father's life. Unlike Mariam, Laila lives very peaceful childhood where Tariq was her best friend. As years pass by love blossoms between Tariq and Laila. As Afganistan faces war after war Tariq's parents decide to leave their country. Tariq begs Laila to marry him. But Laila can't leave her dad alone. On that last day Laila and Tariq sleep together.
After 15 days Laila looses her parents in a bomb blast and luckily she will be saved by Rasheed. Rasheed has seen Laila and Tariq. He will be knowing that they both like each other. So he pays one of his friend to inform Laila that Tariq is dead. By that time Laila will be pregnant and she accepts Rasheed's marriage proposal without any other way out.
Before Mariam's mother's death her father Jalil visits her every Thursday and Mariam spends whole week to prepare for that one day. She loves Jalil like anything. After her mother's death she understand the real face of Jalil. She never speaks to him after her mother's death till the date of her marriage. After her marriage she asks him never to meet her in future.
Relationship between Mariam and Laila will be bad in the beginning, but as time passes they become very close. Mariam treats Laila like her own daughter.
Laila becomes mother of two kids. First girl Aziza(Tariq's daughter) was treated badly by Rasheed as she is a girl. Taliban rule starts. Rasheed looses job. He forces Laila to leave Aziza in a orphanage. Every day Laila goes to orphanage. It is not so easy in Taliban rule. Women are not allowed to go alone. If she is caught, officers will beat her there itself. But it becomes like a goal in Laila's life. If is caught somewhere she will stop until they beat her. Next she will find some other way to orphanage. All this to spend few hours with her daughter.
One day Tariq comes back.........................(I felt so happy when I was reading this part)
Story ends with Mariam killing Rasheed and forcing Laila and Tariq to go to some other country with children. Mariam will be executed in public.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Scarlet
Who is perfect woman?
According to Indian mentality woman should be patient, she should never ask any question, always think about others blblabla. In most of the Indian novels you find main female character sacrificing for others, always thinking about others welfare. Somehow they all forget that god has sent her in this world to live. She also can think, she also has some desires.
Then I read "Gone with the wind". You may laugh, but once I finished this book I felt "how can one write a book on negative characters!". I hated Scarlet. Because she was so different from my explanation of good woman. For me that time a story means, there are good people and there are bad people. At the end bad will die or they will be punished. And good people will live happily ever after. Fairy tale :)
I know I know, Rhett Butler leaves her at the end. But one villain leaving another was not a punishment for me. I was expecting something like she will loose every penny, she will become beggar and leaves rest of her life cursing herself for being so bad.
But this book was so different. After two-three days once again I started to read this book from beginning. This time also when I reached end I was in same confusion, "What this Margaret Mitchel is trying to prove?".
Today my views have completely changed. Why? Now I know life. There is no perfectness in this world. Yes she was a lady with very high ambition, very self oriented, can do anything for money. But I think I hated her more than what she deserved because she was a woman with these characters. I completely ignored some good qualities she was having.
Even tough she hates Melanie she takes care of her. Not only Melanie, Scarlet takes care of whole family and her land Tara during the days of war. Then she marries her sister's love for the sake of money so that she can get her Tara back. I know it's a big mistake. But just imagine the feel of insecurity that might have haunted her during the days of war when no one comes to her rescue. If marrying a girl for dowry is not bad then marrying a man for money sake is also not bad.
So many times Scarlet tells Ashley that she loves him. Even after Ashley marries Melanie! Every time he replies as if he likes Scarlet but due to circumstances he can't marry her. Poor Scarlet! lives her life believing a big lie that Ashly loves her. She realize the truth after the death of Melanie. But it was too late.
Rhett leaves her. As long as Melanie was there Scarlet hates her for being Ashley's wife. But once she comes to know that Ashly doesn't love her, she realizes that she has lost a man who loves her for the sake of this person who never loved her. Only Tara remains in her life.
I can never agree with Scarlet's viewpoint of life. But at the same time I don't no why! but I does not even hate her.
According to Indian mentality woman should be patient, she should never ask any question, always think about others blblabla. In most of the Indian novels you find main female character sacrificing for others, always thinking about others welfare. Somehow they all forget that god has sent her in this world to live. She also can think, she also has some desires.
Then I read "Gone with the wind". You may laugh, but once I finished this book I felt "how can one write a book on negative characters!". I hated Scarlet. Because she was so different from my explanation of good woman. For me that time a story means, there are good people and there are bad people. At the end bad will die or they will be punished. And good people will live happily ever after. Fairy tale :)
I know I know, Rhett Butler leaves her at the end. But one villain leaving another was not a punishment for me. I was expecting something like she will loose every penny, she will become beggar and leaves rest of her life cursing herself for being so bad.
But this book was so different. After two-three days once again I started to read this book from beginning. This time also when I reached end I was in same confusion, "What this Margaret Mitchel is trying to prove?".
Today my views have completely changed. Why? Now I know life. There is no perfectness in this world. Yes she was a lady with very high ambition, very self oriented, can do anything for money. But I think I hated her more than what she deserved because she was a woman with these characters. I completely ignored some good qualities she was having.
Even tough she hates Melanie she takes care of her. Not only Melanie, Scarlet takes care of whole family and her land Tara during the days of war. Then she marries her sister's love for the sake of money so that she can get her Tara back. I know it's a big mistake. But just imagine the feel of insecurity that might have haunted her during the days of war when no one comes to her rescue. If marrying a girl for dowry is not bad then marrying a man for money sake is also not bad.
So many times Scarlet tells Ashley that she loves him. Even after Ashley marries Melanie! Every time he replies as if he likes Scarlet but due to circumstances he can't marry her. Poor Scarlet! lives her life believing a big lie that Ashly loves her. She realize the truth after the death of Melanie. But it was too late.
Rhett leaves her. As long as Melanie was there Scarlet hates her for being Ashley's wife. But once she comes to know that Ashly doesn't love her, she realizes that she has lost a man who loves her for the sake of this person who never loved her. Only Tara remains in her life.
I can never agree with Scarlet's viewpoint of life. But at the same time I don't no why! but I does not even hate her.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Winter and spring
I love festivals. During my childhood I used to celebrate every festival in Kadidal. With Ajji :). It is not that I believe all superstitious things. I just love that occasion where every family member will be present. Decorating pooja room, doing pooja with everyone, nice dishes, happiness. To me festival means all these things. But last year I found a new definition of festivals.
During my first year here (In IIT,Bombay) as rooms in hostel were very less they arranged few flats for girls. I was living in one flat. We four girls were there. Me, Carol, Soumya and Saroj. Last years winter of Mumbai was horrible. It was very cold. Inside IIT it is like forest and temperature is even less compared to other parts of Mumbai. We were literally fed up with that cold.
Then during third week of January one morning we were going for breakfast. Soumya said "look at the wind and sunlight. Saraswathi pooja is coming near and in few days holy will come". In our Karnataka we do Saraswathi pooja during Navarathri(Dasara). But Bengali's do it during January. This is the time when winter will slow down and gives way for spring. I was completely dumbstruck by her definition of festival. To me festival means a day that has been marked in calendar. But she don't need calendar. For her festival is something which is very close to nature.
During my first year here (In IIT,Bombay) as rooms in hostel were very less they arranged few flats for girls. I was living in one flat. We four girls were there. Me, Carol, Soumya and Saroj. Last years winter of Mumbai was horrible. It was very cold. Inside IIT it is like forest and temperature is even less compared to other parts of Mumbai. We were literally fed up with that cold.
Then during third week of January one morning we were going for breakfast. Soumya said "look at the wind and sunlight. Saraswathi pooja is coming near and in few days holy will come". In our Karnataka we do Saraswathi pooja during Navarathri(Dasara). But Bengali's do it during January. This is the time when winter will slow down and gives way for spring. I was completely dumbstruck by her definition of festival. To me festival means a day that has been marked in calendar. But she don't need calendar. For her festival is something which is very close to nature.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sonu Nigam Concert
Tuesday Sonu Nigam live concert was there in IIT. I love his songs. So I was waiting for that event. From 5.oopm we were standing in queue. Somehow we got place. Whole OAT was filled. He was late, but as soon as he entered people were screaming. It was a very new experience for me where in boys and girls were screaming and dancing throughout the show.
I was standing there and observing people. So nicely they were expressing their happiness through their dance and scream. I have never felt like screaming or dancing in my life. When it comes to expressing my feelings most of the time standard deviation is very less between unhappiness, happiness and normal state. Once it was very high for unhappiness, you can guess when! But after that it has become like constant.
When someone hurts me I avoid talking to them for few hours so that my anger will come down. I don't even feel like telling them them that they are hurting me. I don't know whether it's for good or for bad I have reached a state where I have learned to shut my mouth even tough people are talking shit things about me.
I can't say that I enjoyed the show to full extent. Because after going there I felt that I enjoy music when I am alone. And dance numbers are not my choice. But ya, I enjoyed that enthusiasm, energy shown by people. They were continuously dancing and I was wondering "wont they get tired!". And Sonu Nigam was...... was best as usual :)
Ya, it was a new experience for me.
I was standing there and observing people. So nicely they were expressing their happiness through their dance and scream. I have never felt like screaming or dancing in my life. When it comes to expressing my feelings most of the time standard deviation is very less between unhappiness, happiness and normal state. Once it was very high for unhappiness, you can guess when! But after that it has become like constant.
When someone hurts me I avoid talking to them for few hours so that my anger will come down. I don't even feel like telling them them that they are hurting me. I don't know whether it's for good or for bad I have reached a state where I have learned to shut my mouth even tough people are talking shit things about me.
I can't say that I enjoyed the show to full extent. Because after going there I felt that I enjoy music when I am alone. And dance numbers are not my choice. But ya, I enjoyed that enthusiasm, energy shown by people. They were continuously dancing and I was wondering "wont they get tired!". And Sonu Nigam was...... was best as usual :)
Ya, it was a new experience for me.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Relationship
It is so difficult to understand relationships. All my childhood I spent in Kadidal with Ajji. When Ajji was there Kadidal was home for me. I used to get feeling of security which usually we get by reaching home. Ajji was everything for me.
The day Ajji died, morning 8.00 am we reached Kadidal. For the first time I felt as if I am in strange place. For the first time I felt scared that I am alone. Now Kadidal is a strange place for me. At least until Ajja's death I used to visit there. Now............
For the first time I realized the effect of loosing the loved ones. Even on the day of my marriage when that person tied mangalsutra left me alone infront of people and went inside, I felt same scared feeling. Strange when Ajji left my life I felt alone and when this person entered my life I felt the same.
I did become Mrs. Ashwini Arun legally. But by heart I never felt that he is part of mine. His actions, behavior scared me so much that I lost my smile and confidence. It took so much time for me to recover even after kicking him out of my life. To once again smile.
Please, I request people who read this blog. Respect other person's feelings. Everyone in this world has got his own identity and self respect. We call ourself civilized and give advertisement in TV to stop domestic abuse and harassment.
When I asked my x-husband he told me- "I have seen one government officer, whose husband beats her every day. Still she keep quite. Then what is your problem". Please for god sake education is not just for a job.
So much educated, an officer, and everyday abused by her husband! What is the value of that education? Oh you are getting money from which you can get good food, dress and rest everything except self respect. Are you waiting for someone who will come and release you from this pain? It happens only in movie.
And why the hell you expect other person to solve your problem. It's your life? Live it or leave it. But don't waste it for the sake of unworthy people.
The day Ajji died, morning 8.00 am we reached Kadidal. For the first time I felt as if I am in strange place. For the first time I felt scared that I am alone. Now Kadidal is a strange place for me. At least until Ajja's death I used to visit there. Now............
For the first time I realized the effect of loosing the loved ones. Even on the day of my marriage when that person tied mangalsutra left me alone infront of people and went inside, I felt same scared feeling. Strange when Ajji left my life I felt alone and when this person entered my life I felt the same.
I did become Mrs. Ashwini Arun legally. But by heart I never felt that he is part of mine. His actions, behavior scared me so much that I lost my smile and confidence. It took so much time for me to recover even after kicking him out of my life. To once again smile.
Please, I request people who read this blog. Respect other person's feelings. Everyone in this world has got his own identity and self respect. We call ourself civilized and give advertisement in TV to stop domestic abuse and harassment.
When I asked my x-husband he told me- "I have seen one government officer, whose husband beats her every day. Still she keep quite. Then what is your problem". Please for god sake education is not just for a job.
So much educated, an officer, and everyday abused by her husband! What is the value of that education? Oh you are getting money from which you can get good food, dress and rest everything except self respect. Are you waiting for someone who will come and release you from this pain? It happens only in movie.
And why the hell you expect other person to solve your problem. It's your life? Live it or leave it. But don't waste it for the sake of unworthy people.
Friday, November 21, 2008
It's me
Once one person told me that, his fame will go down, if he introduce me as his wife. Then why did you marry me? No answer. I thought about this for so many days. If I was like any other girl, wearing posh dresses, jeans very modern. then?
So after coming to Bombay, I tried to become modern. Guess what? When I used to stand in front of mirror, I wondered at my reflection. But I failed to find Ashwini there. One thing I understood, that even I can become modern. But it is not my identification. I don't even need to change myself for a foolish cheap person, who thinks that he can marry any girl for the sake of his parents but still can enjoy bachelor life flirting with his colleagues by hiding the fact that he is married.
It's me. I don't want to become a stranger to myself anymore.
So after coming to Bombay, I tried to become modern. Guess what? When I used to stand in front of mirror, I wondered at my reflection. But I failed to find Ashwini there. One thing I understood, that even I can become modern. But it is not my identification. I don't even need to change myself for a foolish cheap person, who thinks that he can marry any girl for the sake of his parents but still can enjoy bachelor life flirting with his colleagues by hiding the fact that he is married.
It's me. I don't want to become a stranger to myself anymore.
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