Namratha's journey of life came to an end yesterday. I was thinking whole night about her.
She faced whole word. When her husband died, even her parents wanted her to stay with in-laws as a widow. They wanted it because they were afraid of their society. But she fought against everyone, got job. She did this for her life of 1 year. Just 1 year!
What is the meaning of life. Really we are struggling so much, for this life. And span of this life? No one knows.
But God is a perfect engineer. He has built this model called human being, so nicely that even after knowing that our life may end at any time, there is some power, which drives us. We move with our plans. And until and unless we stand in front of death, we completely forget that we may die.
May your soul rest in peace Namratha.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
God............. Are you there?
Today I will tell you one story. There was one boy, who was considered as genius from his teachers. He loved to work. When doing his bachelors, he fell in love with a very beautiful girl, his classmate. He finished degree, got job in a reputed company.
I wonder some times, why girls, don't want permission of parents to fall in love and roam with boys. But when it comes marriage, they want to get married to the boy, whom their parents chose.
He tried his level best to save his love. Even he took his parents to her home. But nothing worked. I have seen him suffering like hell on that lose. Then after few months he went to Kerala for some training. There he met a girl from Rajasthan.
She was married to a person chosen from her parents at the age of 22. After 5 days of her marriage she lost husband in an accident. People wanted her to stay with her in-laws and live rest of her life in serving them. She faced the world. Just 10 days after that incident she appeared for interview in the same company in which this boy was working and she got selected. They met each other, in Kerala during training. They became friends and started liking each other.
I still remember the day, when that girl told him that she is a widow. When I asked him, what is his decision, after knowing the fact. I was so happy that his liking for her didn't change by that. He told me, that before knowing that, he was liking her. But never sure whether he wanted to marry her. Because still he was thinking about his past. But now he wants to marry her. I was so happy for both of them.
It all happened just two months back!
Today that girl is in Jaipur cancer hospital. At her last stage.
When he lost his first love, I used to talk to him for hours. Convincing him to accept the fact. When he said that there is no god in this world. I argued with him to prove the existence of god. I used to tell, big philosophical words. "Every cloud has a silver lining". Where?
To be frank with you, I am only thinking "is there a power called god?"
Please if god is there for you, then pray for Namratha. He may listen to your prayer. I don't know why, but he has stopped to listen to my prayers.
Please Namratha, you have to live. You can't leave him like this. He needs you. Please...
What will I tell him, if he asks me "Where is your god?"
Why should, he only has to face all the sorrow's of this world? Why ?
I wonder some times, why girls, don't want permission of parents to fall in love and roam with boys. But when it comes marriage, they want to get married to the boy, whom their parents chose.
He tried his level best to save his love. Even he took his parents to her home. But nothing worked. I have seen him suffering like hell on that lose. Then after few months he went to Kerala for some training. There he met a girl from Rajasthan.
She was married to a person chosen from her parents at the age of 22. After 5 days of her marriage she lost husband in an accident. People wanted her to stay with her in-laws and live rest of her life in serving them. She faced the world. Just 10 days after that incident she appeared for interview in the same company in which this boy was working and she got selected. They met each other, in Kerala during training. They became friends and started liking each other.
I still remember the day, when that girl told him that she is a widow. When I asked him, what is his decision, after knowing the fact. I was so happy that his liking for her didn't change by that. He told me, that before knowing that, he was liking her. But never sure whether he wanted to marry her. Because still he was thinking about his past. But now he wants to marry her. I was so happy for both of them.
It all happened just two months back!
Today that girl is in Jaipur cancer hospital. At her last stage.
When he lost his first love, I used to talk to him for hours. Convincing him to accept the fact. When he said that there is no god in this world. I argued with him to prove the existence of god. I used to tell, big philosophical words. "Every cloud has a silver lining". Where?
To be frank with you, I am only thinking "is there a power called god?"
Please if god is there for you, then pray for Namratha. He may listen to your prayer. I don't know why, but he has stopped to listen to my prayers.
Please Namratha, you have to live. You can't leave him like this. He needs you. Please...
What will I tell him, if he asks me "Where is your god?"
Why should, he only has to face all the sorrow's of this world? Why ?
Friday, October 17, 2008
Swapnada Hole
Yesterday I have been to Kamala Neharu Udhyan in Malbaar hills.
I read a novel called "Swapnada Hole" by Shivaram Karanth long back. It's obviously not a romantic novel. But, I liked the main character of that novel "Kittanna" so much that, I used to think that my husband must be like Kittanna.
In this novel, Kittanna lives in Grant road and this Malbaar hill, Girgaon Chaupati have been mentioned. Yesterday when I visited this area, I felt so happy. So silly! I used to love that novel character so much, that even today, just by visiting those places I feel so happy.
Sometimes I feel as if, Mumbai is concrete forest. Even Bangalore is. But I love Mumbai. There is a simplicity here, which you cannot get in Bangalore.
Someone asked me why I want to go back to Shimoga, to JNNCE? I have spent my happiest years and worst years in that place. Now it has become part of my life. Second is I left Shimoga, to run away from people. But now I want to go and live there, at least to prove to myself that I am not coward.
I read a novel called "Swapnada Hole" by Shivaram Karanth long back. It's obviously not a romantic novel. But, I liked the main character of that novel "Kittanna" so much that, I used to think that my husband must be like Kittanna.
In this novel, Kittanna lives in Grant road and this Malbaar hill, Girgaon Chaupati have been mentioned. Yesterday when I visited this area, I felt so happy. So silly! I used to love that novel character so much, that even today, just by visiting those places I feel so happy.
Sometimes I feel as if, Mumbai is concrete forest. Even Bangalore is. But I love Mumbai. There is a simplicity here, which you cannot get in Bangalore.
Someone asked me why I want to go back to Shimoga, to JNNCE? I have spent my happiest years and worst years in that place. Now it has become part of my life. Second is I left Shimoga, to run away from people. But now I want to go and live there, at least to prove to myself that I am not coward.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Ganamaga
This word is very familiar for people of my place. Ganamaga is priest. Weekly once or twice god enters his body and you are allowed to ask question to god, ask for solution............
Oh, talking to god is so easy in my place right? Just pay some money, I think 50rs for one question. There are so many temples in Thirthalli and south kendra (Mangalore, Udipi). And most of them are famous because of these ganamaga. I have seen the Ganamaga of a place called Mandarthi near to Mangalore.
On Tuesday and Friday godess Durga Parameshwari enters his body and you are allowed to discuss your problem with her. After main pooja, those who are interested in asking questions to godess, wait in queue. After some time you see a lean person wearing 'mundu'. You see him running, shivering and his body will be wet, as he enters temple after taking bath from well.
Then he will stand there. But constantly he will be murmuring something and people start asking questions. He gives solution. Oh! sorry, godess Durgaparameshwari gives solution.
Leave the temples, there will be at least one woman in every village who behave very strangely on certain occasions. They say that godess enters their body. And people do treat them like godess.
Once Ajja told me this story. There was one person called Sankarayya Gowda. Once his wife started behaving very strangely and declared that godess Durga is in her body. Then people treated her with respect. One day Sankarayya Gowda was very frustrated he entered house. At the same time Durga also entered the body of his wife. She started scolding her husband. He watched her for 5 minutes, took one stick and started beating her. That was the final visit made by Durga devi to his wife's body.
Most of the women, get frustrated by the very constraints put to them by their husband, in-laws. They need a way to get out their frustration and this is the best way. They can't scold their husband directly. So they seek the help of Durga.
One of my friend told me this. "As long you respect yourself, you also respect others. Because the world you see is just the mirror image of yourself"
Please have self respect and treat others also respectfully. Because Love and Respect are two things which you can get only when you give them to others. No money in this world is capable of buying these two things.
Oh, talking to god is so easy in my place right? Just pay some money, I think 50rs for one question. There are so many temples in Thirthalli and south kendra (Mangalore, Udipi). And most of them are famous because of these ganamaga. I have seen the Ganamaga of a place called Mandarthi near to Mangalore.
On Tuesday and Friday godess Durga Parameshwari enters his body and you are allowed to discuss your problem with her. After main pooja, those who are interested in asking questions to godess, wait in queue. After some time you see a lean person wearing 'mundu'. You see him running, shivering and his body will be wet, as he enters temple after taking bath from well.
Then he will stand there. But constantly he will be murmuring something and people start asking questions. He gives solution. Oh! sorry, godess Durgaparameshwari gives solution.
Leave the temples, there will be at least one woman in every village who behave very strangely on certain occasions. They say that godess enters their body. And people do treat them like godess.
Once Ajja told me this story. There was one person called Sankarayya Gowda. Once his wife started behaving very strangely and declared that godess Durga is in her body. Then people treated her with respect. One day Sankarayya Gowda was very frustrated he entered house. At the same time Durga also entered the body of his wife. She started scolding her husband. He watched her for 5 minutes, took one stick and started beating her. That was the final visit made by Durga devi to his wife's body.
Most of the women, get frustrated by the very constraints put to them by their husband, in-laws. They need a way to get out their frustration and this is the best way. They can't scold their husband directly. So they seek the help of Durga.
One of my friend told me this. "As long you respect yourself, you also respect others. Because the world you see is just the mirror image of yourself"
Please have self respect and treat others also respectfully. Because Love and Respect are two things which you can get only when you give them to others. No money in this world is capable of buying these two things.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Ek Radha Ek Meera
Ek radha ek meera
dono ne shyam ko chaha
Antar kya dono ke pyaar me bolo..............
You remember this song? Once one person told me that love of Radha and Krishna is true love. No other love story is above their love. Yesterday I was listening this song which so beautifully differentiates between Radha and Meera. Then I started thinking, if Krishna loved Radha so much then why didn't he married her? It was not impossible for him. He was having 60000 wives. One more wouldn't have created much problem.
I started comparing Radha and Meera. Both of them, lived in society which was pretty strict against love and affairs. People say Radha ruled Krishna's heart. But she never dared to declare her love for him. Meera had that guts. Radha was always scared of loosing Krishna and always tried to protect him from rest of gopi's. Why Meera loved him so much? I don't know. But, she dared not to stay with a husband whom she doesn't love.
To me true love doesn't mean one amongst 60000. Is it that you can have true love for all those. If only true love in Krishna's life was Radha, then what the hell those 60000 women were doing in his life. How can he marry them without love.
How can people from generations believe that to lead life with someone love is not required?
I think we never try to understand the point of view of author, when we read some story. We understand it as we like. Once someone told me that, wife means, she should do whatever her husband says. And he tried to give example of Seeta,"Seeta followed her husband to forest".
Yes, Seeta followed Rama to forest. Now let me remind you the end of Ramayana. Rama send Seeta to forest, just to make happy the people of his kingdom. At the end he goes to Seeta and ask for her apology and beg her to come back.
She says no. And she ends her life there itself. Oh........ Seetha, said no to Rama! To that Rama, who once crossed sea and killed Ravana to rescue her. Who once accepted the challenge of her father to get her as his wife. Who never thought of any other woman in his life. And this time he asked her to come with him to palace, not to forest. Still she said no! Has she gone mad?
People say that woman's heart is a deep sea of secret. No, it is not. Yes we don't know how to think from mind. Most of the decisions are from heart. When we love someone, we can stand with him, no matter whatever is the situation. But you cannot get the love of a woman by tying three knots.
dono ne shyam ko chaha
Antar kya dono ke pyaar me bolo..............
You remember this song? Once one person told me that love of Radha and Krishna is true love. No other love story is above their love. Yesterday I was listening this song which so beautifully differentiates between Radha and Meera. Then I started thinking, if Krishna loved Radha so much then why didn't he married her? It was not impossible for him. He was having 60000 wives. One more wouldn't have created much problem.
I started comparing Radha and Meera. Both of them, lived in society which was pretty strict against love and affairs. People say Radha ruled Krishna's heart. But she never dared to declare her love for him. Meera had that guts. Radha was always scared of loosing Krishna and always tried to protect him from rest of gopi's. Why Meera loved him so much? I don't know. But, she dared not to stay with a husband whom she doesn't love.
To me true love doesn't mean one amongst 60000. Is it that you can have true love for all those. If only true love in Krishna's life was Radha, then what the hell those 60000 women were doing in his life. How can he marry them without love.
How can people from generations believe that to lead life with someone love is not required?
I think we never try to understand the point of view of author, when we read some story. We understand it as we like. Once someone told me that, wife means, she should do whatever her husband says. And he tried to give example of Seeta,"Seeta followed her husband to forest".
Yes, Seeta followed Rama to forest. Now let me remind you the end of Ramayana. Rama send Seeta to forest, just to make happy the people of his kingdom. At the end he goes to Seeta and ask for her apology and beg her to come back.
She says no. And she ends her life there itself. Oh........ Seetha, said no to Rama! To that Rama, who once crossed sea and killed Ravana to rescue her. Who once accepted the challenge of her father to get her as his wife. Who never thought of any other woman in his life. And this time he asked her to come with him to palace, not to forest. Still she said no! Has she gone mad?
People say that woman's heart is a deep sea of secret. No, it is not. Yes we don't know how to think from mind. Most of the decisions are from heart. When we love someone, we can stand with him, no matter whatever is the situation. But you cannot get the love of a woman by tying three knots.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Funniest Thing I Have Seen
You might have heard about Udipi. I know, it is famous because of Udipi hotels. Most of the people might not be knowing that, Udipi is holy place. Udipi Krishna temple is very beautiful temple.
When you enter this temple, you find people peeping through a hole to see Krishna. Name of that hole is "Kanakana Kindi". Story goes like this. You might have heard about Dasa Saahitya. If you know Karnatic Music then obviously you will know about Dasa Saahitya, through Keerthanes. Kanakadas was a shepherd. His original name was Timmappa but he became disciple of lord Krishna and changed his name as Kanakdas.
There are so many stories about his devotion. Once he came to Udipi but he was not allowed to enter temple as he belonged to lower caste. He was standing behind the temple and start singing devotional songs. Pooja was going on in the temple when suddenly the statue of lord Krishna turned back and a hole was created in the backside wall from which Kanakdas can see the lord. That's the story behind Kanakana kindi.
Now you may ask me, what is the funniest thig about this! Is it that I don't believe this? No. It might have happened because I believe in god.
In udipi they do "Annadana". Means you get food in temple. Temple food will be very tasty. When you enter the temple and finish pooja, if you ask someone which is the way to dining hall, first question they will ask you is "Which caste you belong to?"
Poor Lord Krishna, he took so much trouble, turned back, created a hole in the temple to show that devotion is important but not caste. But even today in Udipi while serving food, caste discrimination is there.
I was just thinking, what will happen today if god appear in front of people and say that "leave caste based discrimination". think, think.............................
I will tell you.
The place where god appears there one temple will be constructed and every year on the date when god appeared, a big pooja will be performed, to which thousands of people come from different parts of world. And obviously it is a holy place, where in god himself was standing, so people will start arguing about which caste people are allowed to enter the temple.
When you enter this temple, you find people peeping through a hole to see Krishna. Name of that hole is "Kanakana Kindi". Story goes like this. You might have heard about Dasa Saahitya. If you know Karnatic Music then obviously you will know about Dasa Saahitya, through Keerthanes. Kanakadas was a shepherd. His original name was Timmappa but he became disciple of lord Krishna and changed his name as Kanakdas.
There are so many stories about his devotion. Once he came to Udipi but he was not allowed to enter temple as he belonged to lower caste. He was standing behind the temple and start singing devotional songs. Pooja was going on in the temple when suddenly the statue of lord Krishna turned back and a hole was created in the backside wall from which Kanakdas can see the lord. That's the story behind Kanakana kindi.
Now you may ask me, what is the funniest thig about this! Is it that I don't believe this? No. It might have happened because I believe in god.
In udipi they do "Annadana". Means you get food in temple. Temple food will be very tasty. When you enter the temple and finish pooja, if you ask someone which is the way to dining hall, first question they will ask you is "Which caste you belong to?"
Poor Lord Krishna, he took so much trouble, turned back, created a hole in the temple to show that devotion is important but not caste. But even today in Udipi while serving food, caste discrimination is there.
I was just thinking, what will happen today if god appear in front of people and say that "leave caste based discrimination". think, think.............................
I will tell you.
The place where god appears there one temple will be constructed and every year on the date when god appeared, a big pooja will be performed, to which thousands of people come from different parts of world. And obviously it is a holy place, where in god himself was standing, so people will start arguing about which caste people are allowed to enter the temple.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Nagi
I love to read books of Dr. Shivaram Karanth. I have already discussed about "Sarasammana Samadhi". Today I just want to talk about Nagi. I don't know why, but I have thought about this character Nagi so many times in my life. I still remember, when I read Jnanapeetha award winning novel "Mokajjiya Kanasugalu" for first time, for so many days I was just thinking about Nagi.
It was not that I read novel for first time. Most of the novel which I used to read before, were love stories, with that perfect man, perfect woman, perfect world. This was the book which showed me entirely different view of woman.
Nagi was married to a person, who thinks that talking nicely to his wife may spoil her as she may take him as granted and may pass orders to him. He is not capable of expressing his love in words. He will be always trying to show that Nagis importance in his life is very negligible. He will be always telling that there are so many things important to him than Nagi. She was married at very early age. Her husband never understands her feeling. Once she discusses her problem with her friend, who suggests her to go back to her parents. According to her friend that is the only way to correct Nagi's husband.
Nagi feels that correct and go to her parents. But their one person who is rich, will come to know Nagi's state. He will be having his own family, but to him women is like a toy. Somehow he talk with Nagi and within few days Nagi will be attracted by his money, his beautiful talks.
Nagi's husband first think that it is below his status to go and ask his wife to come back. It is only when the news of Nagi staying with another person reaches him, he realizes what has happened? His relatives ask him to re marry. But he realizes that it is because of his fault that Nagi is not in his life. He decides that no other woman can take Nagi's place.
On the other side, person with whom Nagi went, takes care of her for some days. She becomes mother of two children. She looses her beauty. And he goes in search of another woman.
Now whole village starts laughing on Nagi. But to the shock of people, her husband asks her to come back in his life. He assures her that he will take care of her children as his own. But Nagi refuses him. She says that she has given birth to her children and she will take care of them.
She lives in same village, in front of people who will be laughing at her. Only thing she knows is making artistic things from Bamboo. She continues that. Even though people laugh at her, they like the artistic baskets made by Nagi.
She lives in a small village, and doesn't know what education is. As years pass by, her children help her, they also roam in forest to get good bamboo , they also learn how to make nice things from Bamboo. Her husband stick on to his decision and he waits for Nagi to come back.
Mookajji is the only character in book, who feels sorry for Nagi and her husband. People think that Nagi is character less woman and her husband is mad, who is waiting for that woman. But once Nagi's children grow and become capable of looking after themselves, Mookajji ask Nagi to send them to some far away place where people don't know them. So that they can live normal life. " I have showed you how to live. Now you go and live your life" Nagi says to her children.
Now once again her husband comes back and ask Nagi in his life. And this time Nagi.......................
There are so many things about Nagi which haunts me. If she wanted, she would have gone back to her husband. But she rejects it. Otherwise, she would have left that village. But she lives there, in front of people who laugh at her. Why? I think she wanted to show to that person that, she can take care of her children. Or she might have thought why should she leave the village when the person who is equally responsible is living without any hesitation in the same village. Or she might have thought that she has done a big sin and she deserve punishment for that. Or is it that, she just wanted to go opposite social norms.
Even today if you ask me which is the most beautiful woman character I have read. It is Nagi.
It was not that I read novel for first time. Most of the novel which I used to read before, were love stories, with that perfect man, perfect woman, perfect world. This was the book which showed me entirely different view of woman.
Nagi was married to a person, who thinks that talking nicely to his wife may spoil her as she may take him as granted and may pass orders to him. He is not capable of expressing his love in words. He will be always trying to show that Nagis importance in his life is very negligible. He will be always telling that there are so many things important to him than Nagi. She was married at very early age. Her husband never understands her feeling. Once she discusses her problem with her friend, who suggests her to go back to her parents. According to her friend that is the only way to correct Nagi's husband.
Nagi feels that correct and go to her parents. But their one person who is rich, will come to know Nagi's state. He will be having his own family, but to him women is like a toy. Somehow he talk with Nagi and within few days Nagi will be attracted by his money, his beautiful talks.
Nagi's husband first think that it is below his status to go and ask his wife to come back. It is only when the news of Nagi staying with another person reaches him, he realizes what has happened? His relatives ask him to re marry. But he realizes that it is because of his fault that Nagi is not in his life. He decides that no other woman can take Nagi's place.
On the other side, person with whom Nagi went, takes care of her for some days. She becomes mother of two children. She looses her beauty. And he goes in search of another woman.
Now whole village starts laughing on Nagi. But to the shock of people, her husband asks her to come back in his life. He assures her that he will take care of her children as his own. But Nagi refuses him. She says that she has given birth to her children and she will take care of them.
She lives in same village, in front of people who will be laughing at her. Only thing she knows is making artistic things from Bamboo. She continues that. Even though people laugh at her, they like the artistic baskets made by Nagi.
She lives in a small village, and doesn't know what education is. As years pass by, her children help her, they also roam in forest to get good bamboo , they also learn how to make nice things from Bamboo. Her husband stick on to his decision and he waits for Nagi to come back.
Mookajji is the only character in book, who feels sorry for Nagi and her husband. People think that Nagi is character less woman and her husband is mad, who is waiting for that woman. But once Nagi's children grow and become capable of looking after themselves, Mookajji ask Nagi to send them to some far away place where people don't know them. So that they can live normal life. " I have showed you how to live. Now you go and live your life" Nagi says to her children.
Now once again her husband comes back and ask Nagi in his life. And this time Nagi.......................
There are so many things about Nagi which haunts me. If she wanted, she would have gone back to her husband. But she rejects it. Otherwise, she would have left that village. But she lives there, in front of people who laugh at her. Why? I think she wanted to show to that person that, she can take care of her children. Or she might have thought why should she leave the village when the person who is equally responsible is living without any hesitation in the same village. Or she might have thought that she has done a big sin and she deserve punishment for that. Or is it that, she just wanted to go opposite social norms.
Even today if you ask me which is the most beautiful woman character I have read. It is Nagi.
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